Peonies.......

I love flowers. Not because I'm romantic, though I am. Not because I'm feminine, though I am....and not because I love Nature....though I do. There is something much more meaningful and purposeful about flowers
......of course there is! Mother Nature always has deeper, complex and multi layers of "speaking" to Her children.
Flowers speak A secret to which I feel I am privy. Though maybe not completely articulate in its language I still understand that flowers in particular, are the very Face of God, of the Mother.....in all Her smiling, colorful, rich Glory who conveys the nobler, higher aspects of the meaning of "affluence".... on so many levels.

Lately, I have been plagued, if you will, by the "craving" of one of Her flowers.....the Peony. I dont know why. I only know, after many years of not being in the florist industry and no longer surrounded by flowers of all kinds, I have found myself craving peonies.
Roses I can get.....I have a supplier who sells beautiful ones for very little $, if I can  get to him. But these are always available. Peonies are not. They are seasonal and grow in certain areas and we in south Florida only get them if someone ships them to stores during their growing season.
I actually went to Target looking for some one day when I saw someone who bought some from there. None of the Targets here had any, nor even knew what they were.
South Florida is bonafide, certifiable STRANGE.

I knew they sold them in Whole Foods Markets, and if a bit expensive, its better than nothing. I went there and bought a bunch, 5 peonies for $10.00. I think its pricey, but that is the world of business.
I was satisfied and brought them home, away from the ugliness of streets, city, stores, noise and driving etc.....into my sacred silence of magic and possibilities that is my home...... anticipating their opening, their scents, their Beauty and their particular message, their signature that speaks in a silent language to my soul.

I waited.

And waited.

Things were not looking good. They did not open, not even slowly. I recut the stems and put them in fresh water after 2 days. Still nothing. When I decided days later to investigate closely, they were dead, rotted from the base of the stems. I was heartbroken. How could I crave something, want something that is speaking to me so loudly, see these peonies all over blogland and the gorgeousness of everyone's pictures, from cutting them from their own gardens to buying them in stores etc, everyone's peonies were haunting me until I finally went and bought some......and they died?? This didn't bode well.

I conveyed this to my housemate and wondered how I was to deal or handle this "craving" for peonies and have the only ones I bought in years, die. He works in Whole Foods Market and so I asked him to return the bunch I bought and replace them, which they do easily enough. But he works in a different store than the one I bought them, and when he came home he said, they didn't have any. I didn't want to spend the gas in driving to the one I bought them only to replace peonies, it was too far.
Days went by and I kept asking him if they came in, and he said no. I began to think he just threw them away and never bothered to return them and just thought I'd forget about it. He's capable of something like that. I began to feel like there was a kind of cosmic conspiracy against me that I had such a consuming craving for these flowers and then to buy them only to have them all die.....and a housemate who didn't care enough to see my spiritual dilemma, for spiritual dilemma it was, and to dispose of them not understanding that some Nature Speak, a spiritual message for me was taking place here.
I asked him then to bring me something else. A week later he brought home white hydrangeas, which were beautiful, to replace the peonies I couldn't have. And I was afraid to buy any more in case they died.

I get onto my blog and look at others I follow and peonies are everywhere.
I get OFF of blogland and still I find peonies in places I should not see them, and even the word "peonies" in places that normally would not be speaking of flowers.
What is happening?

I finally decided this flower has meaning, and it is saying something to me. That is the only possibility. But what?

Yesterday, my housemate brought home some peonies from his store, and I was pleasantly surprised. Grateful I didn't have to buy them myself being in the tight pinch I'm in currently. He said he saw them and decided to just get them, they even had white ones....he smelled them in car all the way home.
Their scent is wonderful!
I cut them, put them in a white pitcher vase, and hoped for the best.
This morning I awaken and look straight to them and I couldn't believe my eyes....they were as large as the hydrangeas!! One was open but I didn't think it had more to go. Another opened just as much. There are 3 more to open this big.
I smelled them. It speaks to me. I "hear" in my soul what I needed to hear from this particular flower.
I am soothed.

So....
What IS IT ABOUT PEONIES that I needed so much?

You know how animals or things from Nature come to you repeatedly to give you messages?......for those who know this takes place and those who listen.
Like some will experience seeing dragonflies everywhere......so much until they stop to ask why?
Or you keep coming across a theme of tigers......in everything you read or see? This is Nature Speaking. It will speak until you get its message.
Well, I told my roommate of my ''craving'' for peonies and he said maybe it is some kind of ''totem'' and he is exactly right. THAT IS what it was, and I was going to have to find out what and why.
I even told him how I embarrassed myself by posting this on someones blog, which I have just deleted because I realize how pathetic it was.....and yes, I forgive myself, because I was having a desperate moment.....but here is what I wrote and deleted:

''.......... Lilacs and peonies...is there any more divine combination?? Will someone have some (pity) compassion and send me some peonies?....I can't stand not having any in south Florida. I've been craving them so much and everywhere I go online there is a picture or the word 'peonies'! This has become torture....sigh... :D:D:D''

You cannot understand how often this Peony has implanted it self into my being, as a craving for them in my space, for their "medicine".....and how many times it has come to my attention and how much it is speaking. But now I have to find out what. I'm looking at them now and telling them "I'm Listening"......

I got online to find some things about their meanings from the ancient wise ones who DID LISTEN, from the days when communion between human and nature was alive and well:
Some of the more interesting meanings found for Peonies:


From here 

And from here And from an entire encyclopedic explanation which is indeed good reading for deeper ancient meanings for the peony although  a bit difficult with the obvious translations.....  here : And so what I'm hearing, my message is from this indefatigable Flower of Wealth, Nobility and Beauty, The Peony...... this most sensuous and fragrant flower, though it appears delicate and feminine, she is neither delicate nor fragile, but adaptable and strong with powerful medicine, and who reigns over the forces of darkness who seek to destroy her, to live out her purpose of her dedication to a beautiful world, whilst hiding as an elemental fairy, a nymph, in the folds of a thousand petals. No one knows my life, who I am, what I look like or what I've been through.....except Our Mother who is watching me, and speaking to me, and she 'spoke' the words I soooo needed to hear. I am in awe, yet once again, at the way The Mother speaks.....how Her messages can be so loud and clear, appropriate and deeply resonant and spiritually pacifying ........ and how She wants to be heard because She so desperately wants you to be soothed, she haunts you until you pay attention. And I am so glad.....I'm Listening.   Sharing this post with No Minimalist Here and with A Delightsome Life