Chronicles of the Workings of the Real Fae: part 5 More Synchronicities

There is, again, much that is missing here in this story, but this day had to be recorded so I will never forget. I have to know now, that yes, there are still positive energies at work in my life, with me, and some of you, and that I can come back to how I used to be, or even better. This entire painful and lengthy process is something to understand only in due time. My role, my helpers, my friends and family from The Beyond.

What is most important now though, is that I am well with myself now, my spirit and how I feel on daily basis during the day, except of course for this man-made pandemic which I will have some words on that later!...... meaning, that if I should pass on after my work on this land is completed I feel totally fine. I just need to complete this work here. I am so satisfied with this task, whatever this is,..... I will feel complete again, for there is nothing more important, divine, or meaningful, than increasing and elevating pure life force and providing Beauty to all living beings to live well together. I have been too long absent from myself. Now I am present. sigh.

*Once home, I got an email with this as the subject: "Its working its magic, and its clearing the way" from an entirely different and non related sender, whose own meaning was very different from mine.*

*While in the stores when I realized I could not talk to everyone that wanted to speak with me, john humorously said, "there is not enough of me to go around!", mimicking Mrs. Tinsdale of The Good Witch series.....and while we were watching an episode of that series in the evening, Mrs. Tinsdale indeed did say "I'm baaaack". I just looked at john and he looked at me.*


* Since my ideas for the gardens are mine I figure I need to pay for them as well, but I explained to john all my ideas (because of the witness thing, as it does no good to explain something to someone once all is said and done you cannot say but I planned that!)....and he understood I wanted to create beauty and life on this land and everything I had in my wish lists on two sites both for the garden and all my Frankincense items, he volunteered to pay for half.*

*Today, Wednesday March 11: We ordered from some online site 7 banner holders but I wanted to confirm when the order was coming and to receive updates to my email and the lady Jamie said they don't have them in stock, they were back ordered and she had no idea when they'll be in. So that is when I realized we ordered wall hangers instead of post hangers and I said this to her and she looked up another style for posts and found one that were $1.00 more than the ones we ordered, but she volunteered to just change out the wall style for the post ones at the same price and they were even in stock and would be shipped out right away. :D I never encountered such luck before, what a delight!*

* I mentioned above that I was in my imaginarium trying to figure out the creation of my plaque and then a Faery took the stepping stones of pieces and put them all together for me, and that is now a continuing process. 1) I could not figure out how to disguise the ugly cattle panels I was using for archways in the garden for the past year, and they sat out there bare and ugly. Today I was given the image in my mind for doing something I had done on the inside of the house which was to flank each side of the archway with tall tree branches which I have a plethora of in the back woods....and as I was dragging the 2 large branches to the arched panels was told 2) to weave some branches to the sides of the panels also to reinforce the strength of the panels so they remain firm and not blow with the vicious winds we have at times and they would look architecturally beautiful even when bare of vines. {Fae people do things in such a way that whatever it is always serves at least two purposes, always}. I have just put up the two flanking branches around 8 feet in height each on either side of the front panels and they look so beautiful already, even with nothing on them, they are an architectural arched shape reminiscent of elegant palatial gardens.*

*Today Wednesday the 27th March ......this morning when I got up there was no hesitation or question. I opened all the doors for ventilation and breezes. I wanted to smoke up this house with frankincense. I got the silver bowl, put pebbles and sand and prepared it. The large one was ready and I wanted one more....so I used the chinese incense burner with lid. I got my tools, lit the charcoal and placed it in the large one, then the next one, then the third and placed them in my bedroom, kitchen table and living room table. It smelled wonderful and I felt like I could breathe again. I took many deep breaths.  I am in out of the house watching the greenery outside of which there is plenty, and it is all moist from the rain yesterday, just the way I like it. I go back in to continue keeping the charcoals lit and adding frankincense. It was good. I heard in my head "it is done"..... ( ? ).......
While I am walking between the bowls in the various rooms making sure they continue smoking, I glance out the doorway, and saw the most beautiful lighting......the clouds were deep blue and grey with random places where the sun was gently through....the light on the verdant grass was dappled by the trees, their shadows between golden light....and the fountain was wet and dark but the water was sparkling, and the mist was still in the higher heights of the trees and woods.....I had to grasp this as this, this is what I always want to see and here it is!!.....I quickly went in to get my camera and turned it on and went back out and focused on a broad image of the back but there was this huge white beam on the right side and I thought I had not positioned myself right, but when I brought the camera down there was nothing there. I looked again in the camera and there was this huge beam of white light going straight down, vertically from the sky to the land, white and sparkling opalescence....and once again I took the camera down to see and nothing was there......again I looked into the lens and it was there, so bright it seemed to diffuse everything else so I didn't take the picture.....this beam of light was huge.....if there was something physically there it would be a beam maybe a foot in diameter 15 feet in front of me.....but again, there was nothing there and now the clouds covered everything and everything was in shade again.....no picture to be taken. I go back in to continue keeping the charcoals lit and adding frankincense. I didn't make anything of this until john got home and I wanted to tell him about the most beautiful view I'd seen here since we moved here. When john came home he breathed an audible sigh of release or relief, I've never heard him do that since we moved here...and as I was telling him about the most magical lighting I'd ever seen here I began to "see", that maybe, there is alot of meaning here.What is my literal craving for frankincense? Why do I need the oil for my skin, the tears to burn and the powders to ingest? Why am I craving it so much all its forms? Did I need to smoke this house with that vibration of quality sacred tree of Frankincense Sacra pearls to  make it hospitable for some being of light who then arrived in a vertical beam on the waves of some truly magical lighting? And what exactly "was done" ?

* Today, Tuesday, March 3rd. I wanted my stone table. I had to go out again to a landscaping place for stones. I abhor driving around. It is so ugly, streets, concrete, lights, advertisements, strangers who want to remain so.....I refer to the outer world as "the alien territory". When we got to the place I found my flag flagstone table right away, it was the only piece large enough, thin enough and flat surfaced, compared to all the other wood crates filled with a couple hundred pieces. This one was on the edge of the only broken open crate and was easy to lift out. Others were not able to come out to see their shape and size. I took it. Then I realized I needed a bench to sit on for a table. I had found one that looked like a perfect shelf. I decided it made a perfect bench. I got that one. I saw another one on my way out and told john if I needed another one to choose something like that one. We lifted it and looked at it, yes it made another perfect stone bench. He said just get it. There was another flat piece laying out on the other side and when I looked at it realized it made another table, we got it.....and then another. we left with pieces for 1 large table, 2 small tables and two benches, all for $122.00. Then we went to Home depot to pick up retainer stones for the bases of the benches, they didn't have the ones we had already so we went to Lowe's. We found something but I was settling only, wanting to get back home again. On the way out I found other stones that I preferred for the bases of the benches because they had rough stone edges but flat tops and a better color. We left the ones we loaded and took these. We needed 16. They had only 16 in the color I needed. Then on the way to the register I saw their display and a retainer that was even better, smaller and lighter, enough for me to manage alone.....I went back and found them. We left the 16 large heavy ones and got 16 of the smaller lighter ones. Perfect. It is when something goes right, that something inevitably like a retaliation goes wrong. I am not even the one who noticed this, john did. Whenever I feel some joy, I sing, or laugh or just feel content, something will happen. He told me this, I didn't believe it. He insisted and he insists on nothing. I decided to watch this, and sure enough it does. So this day we had a great success with the stone tables and benches, I was very pleased. He later tells me he found a tall palm plant I had in the guest room knocked over, and it broke my favorite carafe and crystal candle holder. He said he had checked the room in the morning and all was fine. This happened during the day we were out. When I sing or laugh and he's around he warms me to be careful.....I sing and laugh anyway.

When we got home john noticed a tray I had left out as an offering for the Fae People. I must clarify. I made the most amazing chocolate cake. I'm not a sweets person, but when I do crave something I need the best kind of all natural chocolate cake, and I have found nothing anywhere, and as usual, realized I had to make it myself. I had experimented with a few over the past couple years and none were good enough. The last cake I made, I had finagled everything, from ingredients to cooking time etc, and somehow it worked out the be the magic recipe. I wanted it even slightly better and made one yesterday. I was totally prepared to be blown away. After cleaning up in the evening, wiping everything down with orange oil, lights out and into my night clothes, I cut a small slice to bring into my room for when the urge hit me. As I was walking into my room I heard a voice tell me to leave some fo the Faeries. I thought of this for sec in the back of my mind and figured I made it up, and ignored it. I heard it a 2nd time, and decided it was nighttime, dark and I didn't feel like going out, so I closed my door behind me. The 3rd time I heard they wanted to try my cake....and with this a plethora of senses describing how they recognized it was all natural, had amazing things in it and they wanted to try it. I decided to follow this directive. I put together a beautiful tray, with a small bowl of blue and pink campanula flowers that are beautifully fragrant, a beeswax candle in a mercury glass, I wanted to cut a slice for them and was looking for a beautiful plate, but heard they don't need such a large piece a smaller piece would do as they can "magnify" the piece to share around if they deem so. So I cut a piece from my slice and put it on a beautiful marble coaster and cleaned up the edges for perfect presentation. I added a beautiful Franz porcelain spoon right next to the coaster. I put a small cut glass bud vase on the tray filled with organic almond milk. I figure this was a nice offering. I wondered what I would see the next day. We we got back from shopping, we pulled into the back and john saw the tray on the ground and asked if I had left something for the faeries. (I used to do so often). I went out to get it and when I looked at it......the marble coaster was completely clean, nothing on it, not a speck of frosting or crumb.....and no grass or soil....nothing was on it....and the spoon was not moved and neither the almond mill glass was moved.....it was impeccably clean and nothing else was touched. I told john that I had given them chocolate cake on the marble and he said really?!?....marveling at the obvious cleanliness. He also said no way an animal got to that cake and didn't knock over the glass, and the spoon was precisely straight up and down as I had put it. I personally do not see how any animal would eat that and not touch anything else, no animal is ever that neat.....and so, I must only conclude, that my cake offering was appreciated, and the rest of the tray was left impeccably neat.

* Monday, March 9th, johns day off we decided to put the hangers up on the trees for the solar lanterns and for the banners. I arranged an empty cardboard box with all the materials we needed including nails and hammer. We put up 4 lantern hangers and 4 banner hangers, they look wonderful. We left the rest for another day and left the box in the shed. Before we started this I was outside watering plants and trees wearing leather work gloves. They got wet and I laid them on each post of the stairway to dry in the sun. I had to go into the house a few times for things and back out and noticed one glove was missing. I looked on the ground and it wasnt' there. I didn't have time to look for it since I was busy hanging hangers on trees. So after a few times of being in and out of the house I kept noting the missing glove, and the last time I went in it was missing and when I came back out it was back on top of the post. I called out to john if he had done it and he said he wasn't near the house since we started this project. So a glove was taken and put back in short time, deliberately for me to see. I interpret this as telling me, we are being watched. Okaaaaaay. And part 2 of this..... A couple days ago we received the 2nd box of 8 count lanterns, so now we have 16 for 16 trees....but one hanger or hook was missing from this 2nd set and the battery tabs were all missing as if they had already been pulled but returned. I left the lights on the front porch to charge to make sure they work properly because one hook I can make. I did call amazon and they could only give a partial refund, fine. As long as the lights work like the first set, I'm ok. They did not. They had to be returned. Today, March 12th  I went out to hang the hangers on the rest of the trees with the box in the shed that had all the hangers and things I needed for this job. As I get down to the last 4 hangers I found a hook in this box. Did not make sense since this set up box had only the items I needed and only hangers were in there a week before the 2nd box of lanterns was even received, no lanterns. So "someone" manifested an extra hook and placed it where neither one of us had been this past week, and where that hook was not before. Now there as an extra hook, placed where it was impossible to be, for a lantern that was received a week later.

*Sunday, March 15th: There is a little project I want to make, a wood lantern. And other projects I want to make involving wood. This morning I thought I'd make my lantern and wanted to  go into the woods and find some wood. I got online to see some images for inspiration for what I wanted to make but didn't see anything like it, but I saw an image for a wood lantern that was beautiful because it had a glass globe of light in it, crackle glass which made beautiful patterns, and I wanted a white globe light, so I began to look to see if I can buy something like, but didn't find anything. I also didn't want to get too distracted with being online and get on with my wood lantern project so I got off, and went outside. I wanted to collect whatever interesting pieces I could find for other things too so I grabbed my wheel barrow and went into the woods. I walked in a bit and left the wheel barrow and went searching and saw an interesting piece of wood from a fallen tree that might work for one of my projects and had to cut through brambles, vines and thorny things to get to it, but I looked down to the left and saw something white sticking out from layers of leaves. I went to pick it up and pulled the leaves away and it was a white glass globe light, intact. I was amazed.I put it in the wheel barrow with the wood and cleaned it up of years of dirt and though it was not a working light, it was still a white globe in the size I wanted and I will use it for something. :D

At this moment these are the last of synchronicities, but I am writing them down as they happen. Stay tuned. Stay well, and be strong in your goodness.

Chronicles of the Workings of the Real Fae: part 4 Synchronicities and Good Things

A year ago, I wanted to hang a banner on a pole that is near our lean-to by the shed, as that pole is so tall it must for me, serve some magical purpose, other than what it was built for which I cannot fathom. It is such an ugly construction I had to figure out how to insert some magic and take away from the ugly. So a lovely banner was the answer. I searched and searched and could find nothing that would work in that spot for my purpose. Garden flags and spinners was either too cheesy looking or too small, just not right, or cheap looking. I was not going that way at all, not ever. For months I could find nothing.

 *For some reason I have been craving Frankincense. Not just to smell it, I want it every where, to be infused with it, burn it, diffuse it, ingest it, wear it, everything, I cannot get enough. So I've been researching Frankincense and the purest kind, and I bought an ingestible powder, and oil for diffuser. I also found some quality seller/alchemist/perfumer on Etsy and put those items on my wish list. But Monday morning was the first day I took in some Frankincense tea or emulsion, a quarter teaspoon of the powder left in water overnight and drunk in the morning. It was delightful.*

Then after I had decided I would garden here this past week, I continued online my search for a banner that would be specifically welcoming for the Fae, that would be the first appropriate step, something for them. Now an idea came up that was easy and affordable and looked beautiful. I bought some of the fabric but it was far too light, I folded it up and put it away. Back to the drawing board. I searched and searched in such a way that I knew I would not stop until I found it. Within minutes this time, I found it. It was perfect and I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but its understandable that my brain has been fried over these past years, so I can no longer think of everything I need the way I used to. But there it was. And not just one, but several lovely choices and the price was right. In fact everything was perfect about it, would involve very little work on my end. I don't have to go crazy looking into medieval banners and flag making with silks and linens, embroidering designs, or laser printing, weather-proofing etc etc.....sigh. This was it. Those went into my wish list. So the idea of one banner turned into 6 spread across the property in symmetrical form.

I also wanted hanging lanterns for the trees, also since I moved here, and I could not let that idea go. I found some online and those went into my wish list. I needed hangers for the lanterns, I found beautiful scroll work iron hangers, onto the list. Also banner hangers, on the list.

Now on that pole I wanted to hang the Welcoming Banner for the Fae, there is a piece of wood, also serving some mysterious purpose, but instead of taking it down I decided to put up a wooden plaque over it, a Heraldic sign with a name on it, something like Fairy Cottage and Gardens, yes that would do. But how to design that would take some imagining.

So Tuesday, yesterday morning as I was lying in bed I was in my imaginarium inventing, creating a design for the plaque, whilst in that space, some things began falling into place, like a puzzle with the pieces all making for me a clear picture, and I GOT IT!......I realized what was happening here on this land, with the plants etc, and more importantly what I needed to do. I had been told when I moved here of some horrible things that happened on these lands back in the day. I won't repeat them here, but this land bears the spiritual scars of it all. It was like some little faery had danced over the stepping stones of bits and pieces in my mind and put them together, informed me and laid out a clear path. ( I decided it had to be the Frankincense that had cleared some blockage in my spirit {validating its spiritual uses} that allowed the information I needed to come through, hence the cravings for it, along with help from the Fae who I had committed to working with and for.)

The decision was already made to garden for the Fae and the land itself, not just for my own visions of gardens. I had to work with them. Reminisces of that reading of Ken telling me I was like Dorothy came to mind. huh.
 
But I felt life forces sparkling through me now. I got up Tuesday morning with my mind illumined and clear and my physical body was energized and alive like it used to be, fast paced and walking hard and fast, and I went out to tell john "I got it! I know what to do with this land, and I understand what happened, it all fits now." Its not that he listens or even remembers, but mostly I need a witness, so I tell him some things.... because that witness is crucial when I do have to explain things to people or I even tend to doubt the things happening, he is there to say he saw it or he heard it too. That is why I tell him anything. I need a witness.
This land has according to someone I spoke with when I first moved here, some really dark history, and happenings. Nothing but brambles grow as far as one can see, and some sorry looking greenery, makes no sense. And on top of that, I've had some intentional dark energies directed at me and my gardens which is also the energies that is killing indoor plants that should not die. Meters also.

So now filled with understanding and a sense of purpose or mission, or endowed with a task from the Beyond, I was alive again, and this is good, a sign of things going right.
That day Tuesday I had only one thing scheduled to do with john's help and that was to prune the crepe myrtle trees, but he also suggested we go to the garden store to look for the maidenhair plants to replace the dead ones. Ok. plan. I got dressed and ready though I wasn't prepared to go out in a car and drive around, I abhor that, but I did want those plants now.

I took 2 $100 bills for my purchases. On the way to Garden Gate Nursery I got really hungry and said we should stop at Fresh Market to pick up a bite. We parked and I got out and walked ahead and a lady heading towards me was smiling. I love those days when people are friendly. I could tell she wanted to talk to me but didn't. John was maybe 10 feet behind me and she said something to him and I heard him say, "she bought this for me", meaning his T-Shirt which he always gets complimented on because its a beautiful green with a large yin yang tree of life. I smiled at her again. Once inside the store I decided I needed a bit of coffee which I do not drink but on days once or twice a year where I need to be working the whole day, so I got one of Fresh Market's sample coffee's. While there a tall older energetic man holding a helmet came also for a bit java, and he began to talk and oh boy, someone talking to me what a delight. ( remember I lived isolated where I am with no friend or family and few phone contacts and neither does john talk to me) So this was a delight! He was very pleasant and social and I told him when the service lady said she was bringing out the blueberry crumble I thought she meant a cake, but it was a coffee and he laughed and decided to try it and I went for my 2nd sample. John went to the john, and this man stayed with me chatting so nicely I wish I could have spent the day with him. When he had his cup ready he cheered my cup, what fun! But john came back and stood behind me and the man decided to leave. During the time he was there talking to me another woman looked like she wanted to speak with me too, but didn't want to intrude on this chat. I saw a couple of other women looking at me and wanting to talk it seems, but they didn't, they just kept smiling at me. I used to have days like that all the time. In fact I was "told" often I needed to go out, for the people somehow. I wanted to say, "I'm baaach!", in the most positive sense of the meaning.

We left there with pannini's and drove to Garden Gate and more friendly smiling people.....so much so it was anomalous and I pointed it out to John.....again I need a witness. He did see it. I reiterated all that had gone on and the sequence of events and it seemed to him and to me, that the Fae were actually helping me, maybe not with the plants but with their energy. But the store had no maidenhair fern. I wanted a juniper specimen but they couldn't break another $100 so john bought it. I then said we should go to Lowe's to look for some evergreens to replace the ones that died. They had none but my first purchase was there at Lowes a large leafed philodendron plant for under the carport, as I only want specimen plants now, not a bunch of little half alive things struggling. Then on to Home Depot. I bought a beautiful planter for the juniper. Last at walmart I bought 2 hanging boston ferns for under the carport, but there is where I discovered I had lost a $100. bill. I was heartbroken. Such a magical enchanting day and here was some interference. It couldn't be, I haven't lost any cash since I was 17 years old. I searched thoroughly and it wasn't there. Then I felt the "pattern"....this was "normal".....feeling good and then something negative to ruin it, was indeed a pattern so much so that john was the one who noticed it in my life first. However, today I was not wanting to destroy the good vibes I was loving all day so far so in between still feeling the good vibes, I was lamenting but really didn't feel like feeling bad, so I was going back and forth.

I asked john if he could drive me back to Lows and H.D. because maybe, miracles happen, someone found it and saved it for me? He said sure. Se we drove back to Lowes first since that was where I first pulled out my money. I wanted to find the blond girl at the register but she wasn't there, and the girl that was there I explained and asked if the blond girl who served me could be paged, but she directed me to the customer service desk where she said she was working. I went there but she wasn't. I walked a bit through the store looking for the girl, but knew it was futile, she could be anywhere and again, I didn't feel like lamenting. I walked back to the register and asked if the girl could page the blond girl and that I would leave my name and number in case she did find it and could return it, but she didn't even know the blond girls name, so she paged a manager. And all this time I felt this a was a one in a million chance. I don't even know even if I did drop it because so often things simply vanish from the air (in my world).  So as I was writing my name, the current girl paged a manager because she didn't know the blond girls name who served me, and when I wanted to write my telephone number I couldn't remember it so went to the car to ask john and he was telling me and I was writing, when the blond girl came running to the car with the $100. bill in her hand and she said she had hoped I would return, because I dropped it on the way out of the store. I looked at the bill and at her and my face scrunched up and the tears came running down and I just cried at the impossible luck, the honesty....., her sweet face and the rock hard proof of my Faery Friends helping me still on this enchanting day. I wanted to thank her and looked at her name tag and if ever there was a Faery name, this was it......Arela.

Anti Viral Cultured Foods

Hello Everyone....

I really believe in cultured veggies and for their powerful medicines, so easy to make and delicious to to eat. Please listen to this podcast from the cultured veggies Queen Donna Schwenk. Do this for yourselves and loved ones and stay well.

Chronicles of the Workings of the Real Fae part 3, Inspiration and Help

~ all of these Chronicles were written on the same day in the first week of February which I have broken up into parts I'm slowly publishing here. There are dates added to the later asterick* notes because this is the part I am chronicling as they happen.



Me Personally:

As a being of the Fae People, it has been beyond depressing in this house to not be able to garden and have things grow and glow and sparkle in the sun.....to not have the life growing before my eyes, to see them happy and strong and exemplifying the Divine Plan.....to not have things flowering and scenting the air, to please all beings visible and invisible, human and animal. I could not figure out why my plants were dying. I would replace them and they would slowly die. This is not normal for me. I bought an ivy and pothos for the bathroom, everyone knows you can't kill those, especially the pothos....even if its dry it will still live, give it water and it thrives.....it almost doesn't need light, it is truly the hardest to kill. They were doing well, until recently. The pothos vines were turning yellow, leaf by leaf. My beloved maidenhair ferns all die within some time even if they're watered. But its when I saw the pothos turning yellow leaf by leaf, is when I knew something was killing them and it wasn't me. My energy reeled as I could not "figure out" another single abnormal thing as nothing in life made sense to me. I've had to live with the woohoo and not engage the mind which for my scientific nature was too hard to do. But anomalies were piling up. I've kept them on a shelf in my mind, figuring that one day there will be enough of the pieces of the puzzle that it will put itself together and give me the picture since I was not about to do any more brain racking.

I also wanted desperately to move out of here as the weather has been torturing me, with 100 degree temps six months of the year, and storms that literally shake this house with freak winds all the time.
My nerves cannot handle any more life threats as that is what they are to me, life threatening.
Not to mention living with a robot of a person who literally begins his morning coughing at precisely 3:03 every single morning and whose steps I can tell you what will be when and how. Every day is literally Ground Hog Day, there are no changes in his moves, and this alone is maddening.
 
That is a long background shortened by 90%. Which brings me to yesterday and its magic.
This will be all over the place but I need to record it even if it is not in a graceful order. I need to record this.
There is a ton I have to skip here. What is missing may lead to confusion, but I cannot write the book.

* The day before yesterday, Monday, I woke up to find two glass containers containing food that needed to go into the compost I had stacked one upon the other on the side staircase were moved, to a higher step on the staircase, and no possom or armadillo did that. I could understand how they could knock it down or over, but not picked up and moved to the top step. Also I had half of my spanish moss I had collected gone, and it was lot, maybe 3 cubic feet. So I'd been creeped out at who could have been here again, yet the security camera picked up nothing.*

The Magic and Present Tuesday:

I recently realized I had to make a final decision on whether to plant and garden or not since not being able to has felt awful on a daily basis as gardening has been not only not rewarding but creepy so far at this house/land. But not gardening destroys my soul.....there is no life without gardens. I am too deeply connected with Nature and not engaging means being ostracized from life force. I can no longer invest and lose money in plants and trees only to have them die, so whatever I do has to yield really good results, so that my efforts payoff, are not wasted in futility. I abhor futility and spending time, energy and money for nothing for bad results....makes me growl. I was determined about that, so what to do? I had even told my housemate john that I was not going to garden this confused land that doesn't know if it wants to drown or dry up in drought so how am I supposed to know what to do with it, and why so many plants are dying even those that you can't kill, so I'm not gardening any more. I felt a huge hole inside me. For the almost  two years I've been here I could not figure out what it was that was needed. I've been at a loss for too long yet still wanting to "do something about it!".

Since moving here I've spent many many hours, days weeks and months pondering scrutinizing this land and my own knowledge base and how to proceed. I came up with nothing. 


So I thought about my daily-life feeling and what would feel best. I really do need to see the beauty and gardens daily, that would make me feel good every day. If I do not feel something good every day, I am basically the living dead. The alternative was to not garden on this old farmland of 5 acres, and see all that bare land with nothing on it and feel like shit every day. This is not even an option. Thinking in this way changed my mind. Waste or not, frustration or not, every day is a day I can die therefore I need to fulfill my joy on a daily basis as if every day were my last. That is clear now.
So this past week, I decided I was going to garden. I'd rather feel the potential of plants and trees growing, flowering and yielding fruits, herbs and flowers, than not. But I had to do something radically different as ''normal gardening'' was not working here on this land. So I told john (as witness) all this and that I decided to garden after all, but not sure how to proceed with this mysterious land.

* Some weeks ago I had a psychic reading with a psychic named Ken, and he told me I was basically very very very much just like Dorothy MacClean  who founded Findhorn Gardens in Scotland. Ok, that was interesting, but I certainly did not feel like that. I put that on a shelf too.*

So again, radical change was required, something I could not think of. That didn't help.

I've wondered what is the mystery here of this land? What happened here? And recently a feeling of honoring the elements spirits of land and plants, of all in Nature was a necessary thing. How to do that? Plantings were not enough. What I had to do here was for the Fae and this land. I had to honor them, and so I decided I would.
I thought and thought, and slowly over many images of celestial gardens I was seeing in those Asian series I was watching that remind quite a bit of paradise, my own feelings, and hints of my origins and where I hail from wanted to manifest came to the fore of my mind. Yes, I thought, that is perfect but how to do that? This is planet earth after all, and the 3rd dimension only.....sigh......what to do.


Well, I had a couple of small ideas, and as they came and tickled my spirit, I felt anything that tickles my spirit needs to be done without further ado. I was decided.

Chronicles of the Workings of the Real Fae, part 2 Epilogue and Present

~ all of these Chronicles were written on the same day in the first week of February which I have broken up into parts I'm slowly publishing here. There are dates added to the later asterick* notes because this is the part I am chronicling as they happen.



Part 2 Still Not Pretty:

Recovering from the past years and all the traumas I'd been through and never acknowledged, just moving on as if nothing had happened was how I (coped) handled  it all. I wanted to be away from those planes driving me insane with grinding gut wrenching noise all day every day over head circling my house, and away from john the zombie. These were the two things I really needed to escape from. But these traumas of past and present and all the paranormal things took everything I had left out of me, and that move to TN in May of 2017  I thought was a new fresh beginning, was actually going into the fire from the pan. All this caught up with me when I moved to TN in 2017. That is where it got worse. I was very sick and my body could not heal. It was degenerating bit by bit, losing hair, teeth moving around, my skins drying and wrinkling all of a sudden, no matter how much water I drank I could not hydrate, and many other things. My mermaid looks were gone. I couldn't walk due to some hip agony, chronic all over pains 24/7 and no where near any friends. I was devastated. I spent the entire year lying down in bed, except to buy foods, then back to bed.

I have been living on 300-500$ a month for years and when I moved to TN it became less. My car started to have many problems. Every time I got money, it went to car repairs. Five times in one year it was in the shop for many hundreds of dollars each time.

Something was causing me sheer terror. I once felt I needed to escape and quick, so I quickly gathered a few items tossed them into a bag and went to my car intending to drive to a hotel somewhere, but the car wouldn't start. I had to go back into the house. More trauma.

It was a desperate plea to john to help me move out of that house, and I helped with ideas. He said if he got a job in Gainesville, he would sell his house in Pembroke and move and I could be back in a house with him, which was something I didn't want but he was a safer choice than where I was. We did....that is a whole other story. I got out. And for three months, he was a friend. But only for 3 months. Then he was back to zombie. Sigh. So this house in isolation is what I have. Lets deal.

So being in this house with all this land, 5 acres of old farmland, I thought could become a paradise of gardens in short time. But turns out these lands are riddled with fire ants who sting not bite, and they have a venom that is poisonous and turns out I am highly allergic to it. So every time I went to garden or just to weed, hundreds of ants come out and sting, I'd get bit and it would land me in bed with flu like symptoms for 2 days. I literally could not get out of bed again for many reasons. When I thought gardening would be therapeutic, it was toxic. What a curse. I really didn't know what to do. The bites leave scars also which I hate. I finally learned that as soon as I get bit I have to run in and take some liquid propolis and a teaspoon of manuka honey, its the only thing that can reduce the symptoms. Bed was the only place of sanctuary for the following year from 2018 May to recently. I understand those who don't get out.



Then I got a cat. I've loved cats since they are so warm and affectionate and thought it would be good for me since my last cat was literally taken from me and killed I won't go into that. So we adopted one from the garden center at 6 weeks old. I named her Sarah. This little one could not have been more of a terror. There was no little cuddly thing there, only a willful, domineering, independent, tear up everything, and mad dash break and fall things cat. I was too sick for this and could not get her to calm down. She tore up my nerves which were at nil. She left me shaking. The worse part being she hates being held, hates affection, does not want to be touched. I was gifted for my birthday by a friend a reading from an animal psychic to understand this cat, and when the woman connected with this cat she made it clear she does not care for me, doesn't need to care for or love her, but especially doesn't like to be held and doesn't want affection and will not be affectionate, the best thing would be to put her in a shelter and let a better match adopt her. We had her fixed, intending to give her to a shelter, but she seemed to calm down a lot, so we kept her. A year later she still is distant and fiercely independent. She is redeemable in some way as she taught me how to play hide and seek. Every night at 7pm on the nose, she dashes to hide until I find her, or I'll be walking and she'll ambush me from a hidden place..... and we go on like that for an hour. I feed her well. She's johns girl though. I love her anyway.

And Lately:
So.....with much editing and leaving many things out, that has been the past year.
Mostly being in-house lately but having discovered some interesting videos....... watching "my ladies" of Asia vloggers, doing their chores, cooking, cleaning, caring for home, being meticulous, clean, aesthetic, gentle, generous, peace keepers of the world, and they have been warming my heart to see them. I wrote about some of them in my previous post. These are the most genuine peace makers of the world, those who are the suns of unseen households, who are life giving, and life elevating beings......the women folk of the world, silently emitting sunlight in quiet places, keeping life and humans and animals in integrity. I love watching them, it helps me to know humanity still lives.

The other thing I've been watching are Chinese and Korean dramas, or drama series. I laugh because I've never done these things in my life. TV watching was for morons and losers, sleepers. Please excuse this harsh criticism, as I had not yet until recently realized the importance of the need for escape....especially for people who experience not just one trauma, but many in their lives. I now see the help it offers to escape from all the memories and symptoms of ptsd, and the physical pains. Every sudden sound caused me to jump and I could not calm down for more than a day after. But I will never accept t.v. as a form of "entertainment" or such, it is still only a necessary escape......like a drug that dulls the pain of the mind.


Yet, now here I am in 2020. sigh.
I'd always earned money and taking care of my body as a bodybuilder, and nutritionist, and being the Light that I am, sprinkling that, and embalming strangers with some peace giving magic from my presence alone. That was my life. A long time ago, seems another lifetime.

Now, however reluctant I was to even watch a video last year, I cannot tell you how much this watching a series has been an easy escape for me, much needed, since my thoughts could only go around my life and experiences, the anomalies and the freaks of nature. And trying to piece this all together in my mind simply didn't work and created more stress and anxiety as nothing made sense. The impossible was happening on a regular basis, I could not tell anyone. I could not work. I could not physically function.....and more......I just could not. NOT. So watching a series from a foreign country gave my mind some stimulus to watching some gorgeous scenery and differing cultures which I always loved. This has been acceptable. Now I even look forward to ending my day by watching a few episodes, as this always puts me to sleep as well. Good all round routines, safe for my body and mind. Another complete belief system gone to hell: "thinking is bad, escaping is good".....I always believed the reverse, "thinking is good, escaping is bad".


I felt like the living dead. And I realized this is what I've been seeing of people on this Earth, this is what most people feel like. I finally feel totally human. No wonder the world is such a sick place. Something vital is missing.....some critical element as important as morals and integrity.....which left only human biology and a terrible sense of futility. I understood many on this earth and the pandemic depressions and suicides. It is terrible. I cannot stay this way, my soul will die, not just my body.

But doing nothing for more than a year and half now, on some levels, I was healing slowly from not just recent events, but many years of damage..... from what I understand now as years of Attrition Warfare tactics against me from invisible sources.
You can think what you like here, the last thing I need is to convince anyone, that would take reporting all the events of my life and no way that will happen. But know this: Millions of people on the Earth are experiencing this if not all....that's right......there are forces at work on people in every way imaginable.