Chronicles of the Workings of the Real Fae part 3, Inspiration and Help

~ all of these Chronicles were written on the same day in the first week of February which I have broken up into parts I'm slowly publishing here. There are dates added to the later asterick* notes because this is the part I am chronicling as they happen.



Me Personally:

As a being of the Fae People, it has been beyond depressing in this house to not be able to garden and have things grow and glow and sparkle in the sun.....to not have the life growing before my eyes, to see them happy and strong and exemplifying the Divine Plan.....to not have things flowering and scenting the air, to please all beings visible and invisible, human and animal. I could not figure out why my plants were dying. I would replace them and they would slowly die. This is not normal for me. I bought an ivy and pothos for the bathroom, everyone knows you can't kill those, especially the pothos....even if its dry it will still live, give it water and it thrives.....it almost doesn't need light, it is truly the hardest to kill. They were doing well, until recently. The pothos vines were turning yellow, leaf by leaf. My beloved maidenhair ferns all die within some time even if they're watered. But its when I saw the pothos turning yellow leaf by leaf, is when I knew something was killing them and it wasn't me. My energy reeled as I could not "figure out" another single abnormal thing as nothing in life made sense to me. I've had to live with the woohoo and not engage the mind which for my scientific nature was too hard to do. But anomalies were piling up. I've kept them on a shelf in my mind, figuring that one day there will be enough of the pieces of the puzzle that it will put itself together and give me the picture since I was not about to do any more brain racking.

I also wanted desperately to move out of here as the weather has been torturing me, with 100 degree temps six months of the year, and storms that literally shake this house with freak winds all the time.
My nerves cannot handle any more life threats as that is what they are to me, life threatening.
Not to mention living with a robot of a person who literally begins his morning coughing at precisely 3:03 every single morning and whose steps I can tell you what will be when and how. Every day is literally Ground Hog Day, there are no changes in his moves, and this alone is maddening.
 
That is a long background shortened by 90%. Which brings me to yesterday and its magic.
This will be all over the place but I need to record it even if it is not in a graceful order. I need to record this.
There is a ton I have to skip here. What is missing may lead to confusion, but I cannot write the book.

* The day before yesterday, Monday, I woke up to find two glass containers containing food that needed to go into the compost I had stacked one upon the other on the side staircase were moved, to a higher step on the staircase, and no possom or armadillo did that. I could understand how they could knock it down or over, but not picked up and moved to the top step. Also I had half of my spanish moss I had collected gone, and it was lot, maybe 3 cubic feet. So I'd been creeped out at who could have been here again, yet the security camera picked up nothing.*

The Magic and Present Tuesday:

I recently realized I had to make a final decision on whether to plant and garden or not since not being able to has felt awful on a daily basis as gardening has been not only not rewarding but creepy so far at this house/land. But not gardening destroys my soul.....there is no life without gardens. I am too deeply connected with Nature and not engaging means being ostracized from life force. I can no longer invest and lose money in plants and trees only to have them die, so whatever I do has to yield really good results, so that my efforts payoff, are not wasted in futility. I abhor futility and spending time, energy and money for nothing for bad results....makes me growl. I was determined about that, so what to do? I had even told my housemate john that I was not going to garden this confused land that doesn't know if it wants to drown or dry up in drought so how am I supposed to know what to do with it, and why so many plants are dying even those that you can't kill, so I'm not gardening any more. I felt a huge hole inside me. For the almost  two years I've been here I could not figure out what it was that was needed. I've been at a loss for too long yet still wanting to "do something about it!".

Since moving here I've spent many many hours, days weeks and months pondering scrutinizing this land and my own knowledge base and how to proceed. I came up with nothing. 


So I thought about my daily-life feeling and what would feel best. I really do need to see the beauty and gardens daily, that would make me feel good every day. If I do not feel something good every day, I am basically the living dead. The alternative was to not garden on this old farmland of 5 acres, and see all that bare land with nothing on it and feel like shit every day. This is not even an option. Thinking in this way changed my mind. Waste or not, frustration or not, every day is a day I can die therefore I need to fulfill my joy on a daily basis as if every day were my last. That is clear now.
So this past week, I decided I was going to garden. I'd rather feel the potential of plants and trees growing, flowering and yielding fruits, herbs and flowers, than not. But I had to do something radically different as ''normal gardening'' was not working here on this land. So I told john (as witness) all this and that I decided to garden after all, but not sure how to proceed with this mysterious land.

* Some weeks ago I had a psychic reading with a psychic named Ken, and he told me I was basically very very very much just like Dorothy MacClean  who founded Findhorn Gardens in Scotland. Ok, that was interesting, but I certainly did not feel like that. I put that on a shelf too.*

So again, radical change was required, something I could not think of. That didn't help.

I've wondered what is the mystery here of this land? What happened here? And recently a feeling of honoring the elements spirits of land and plants, of all in Nature was a necessary thing. How to do that? Plantings were not enough. What I had to do here was for the Fae and this land. I had to honor them, and so I decided I would.
I thought and thought, and slowly over many images of celestial gardens I was seeing in those Asian series I was watching that remind quite a bit of paradise, my own feelings, and hints of my origins and where I hail from wanted to manifest came to the fore of my mind. Yes, I thought, that is perfect but how to do that? This is planet earth after all, and the 3rd dimension only.....sigh......what to do.


Well, I had a couple of small ideas, and as they came and tickled my spirit, I felt anything that tickles my spirit needs to be done without further ado. I was decided.