Strawberry Rose Cream Tea, The Real Thing

Hello Everyone!

I just have to share this little beauty, Strawberry Rose Cream Tea.

 

I don't know where the idea came from but it literally popped into my head one day and has been taunting me since, until today I said OK! I will make this one, and I'm sooooo glad I did, the flavors are sublime.

I googled this particular blend and could not find a single post anywhere about this tea using real strawberries, real roses and real cream. I did find flavored dried tea combinations, but that is not nearly the same as the real thing. We always prefer real don't we?

It is the simplest thing to make. All you need are fresh strawberries, fragrant rose buds or pure rose water, real cream and sugar/honey to taste. A clear teapot is wonderful to see the loveliness inside but is not necessary.

 

Put some water to boil. Cut up your strawberries, and some extra to munch on, get your cream handy, and the rose buds and/or rose water. I used both.....I like strong flavors.

I also used a single roselle bud because I've been drinking roselle tea with lemon verbena I have growing and it makes the most beautiful rose colored tea ever.  It is a certain hibiscus plant.

This is what it looks like on the stem. I have several stems I bought from the farmers market and have them in a vase with the lemon verbena, and my bedroom is ready for tea anytime. I used one of these buds to color this tea a slight pink.

I have also added to my tea table, a pedestal bowl for fruits. Right now persimmons are in season, I love them, and some red grapes. Its a lovely thing to walk in to my room and have tea and fruit. I added a (candle) burner and a small glass teapot to heat up Japanese Sake, because I just love that stuff especially with the Asian dishes I'm getting into. I'm all prepared in here lolol

Last night I lit the candles because I love the ambience of night and candles and I love to see the tapesty lit up leading to a light portal in a magical forest somewhere.
And my white lilies are about to open up, they smell wonderful. I keep white lilies in the house all the time.
To the left I brought in some branches from the woods behind my house and put them in a vase with some faux cherry branches. These will not die and I love the bare branches. The candles create lots of shadows of the branches on the wall so it looks woodsy at night, it is enchanting.

 

 Back to the tea......this is everything you need.....

Put the strawberries into the pot. I used 6-8 strawberries cut up, and about a tablespoon of rose buds. Once the water has reached a light boil, add it to the pot and wait 5 minutes. You can add the sugar/honey at this time to let it dissolve. I didn't want honey because it has its own flavor and could overpower the delicate strawberries and roses. You can also omit the cream but my inspiration was to have some kind of tea with these flavors and I wanted to use up the raw cream I got from the farmers market. I put about a tablespoon of cream in my glass and added the steeped tea. Mix and go to nirvana. I made a second pot, then a third. I'm out of cream now. sigh....but what a wonderful thing! I now have another inspiration of culinary delight and beauty!

 Look at how beautiful this pale pink is. I put a rose next to so you can see.

Enjoy!

DIY Gorgeous $35 Meditation Bench/Stool For Slow Living

Hello Bloglandia.........

Its not been so long this time, and I am happy to make another post to share. This is a simple project that I have fallen in love with. It came upon me when I was sitting on my rug and just staring out, zoning out at the grass and trees. There is something about the shed which causes me to relax all the time, I don't know what it is......until yesterday, I figured it out, more on that later.

One day I was in the shed trying to do my stretching/yoga, and it just wasn't happening. So I sat up and looked out at the view of the Beautiful Green......when I realized that I was in pain in that cross legged position, which I never used to be, but now for some reason sitting cross legged hurts. I knew that I needed to elevate my rear and that I need a low seat. And thus this vision came to me on the spot because I had seen the round wood in home depot while getting supplies for another bench I want to make, and I knew I'd need this round one day, and so that day came complete with the vision in tact, and a project was born.

Does that happen to you? You see something in the store and you say, "OH! I need that!", but you don't know for what, and so you pass it up, and INEVITABLY within short time, you have to do something that requires that exact thing you left in the store and have to go back for? It happens to me ALL the time. I will see something and say ''I need that!!'', and I don't buy it because I don't know what for, and then comes the time when I need it and have to go back for it. Even the housemate sees this. So what do I do now? I don't leave it in the store anymore, because I hate having to go out for little things. Now I have the mysterious objects that scream at me from the shelves on hand, and it is a pleasure to have that project come along and have what I need already here! That's been fun lately. I love saying to john, "see?! told you! ha"...isn't that odd.......lol.


As the title says, its a do it yourself Meditation Bench or Tea Stool, so easy so pretty. It can be used for simply sitting cross legged facing your favorite view, or it can be a plant stand or fish bowl stand, use your imagination. A second one can be made with the slightly taller legs and placed beside it as a Tea Table, which is something I'm hoping to make soon. It will be perfect with the shorter bench!
Because I simply LOVE sitting in the shed with the view of the fountain bird bath and Quan Yin and imagine having a lovely tea there! (if my camera batteries recharge before I finish this post, I can upload a picture of that.)
 
This project cost $35.00 roughly.

Now I have googled Meditation Benches and all of them were over $100.00, and not even pretty. Sigh. So I think this Meditation Bench/Stool was a genius vision and is well worth it. It takes only 2 days to complete, mostly because of drying times, (and because I move slowly these days)...... but it is effortless and beautiful.

All the supplies were from Home Depot except the stencil.

Supplies: 

18" round around $7.00
Four 6" legs, around $3.35 each
Red Oak stain around $5.00
polyurethane gloss around $10.00
2 paint brushes, one nylon for varnish and one natural for the stain. I had these also.
Mandala stencil around $6.00 (amazon) or you can look in Michaels, JoAnnes or Hobby Lobby.
I had the wood glue and liquid gold leaf. But but you can let your imagine go wild with what you want to see on your bench. Would be nice if you can do your own artwork. But stencils are beautiful. You can make the making of this bench a meditation in itself, and go all out with creativity. My own mind is going all over the place with more visions of these, but truly I only need one, and a slightly taller one for a tea table. :D:D:D

First I stained the wood as it is, no sanding at all in this project......let it dry on one side, did the other side and the edges and then I stained the legs. The round and legs both got only one coat of stain as it was pretty dark. You can choose what color stain you prefer.
I then gave the legs and round 2 coats of polyurethane. I wanted it glossy but this varnish did not give the effect I wanted. Turns out what I really wanted to see was a glass like finish which can only come from resin which I am contemplating.

Then I stenciled both sides with a mandala using liquid gold leaf, and a stencil from amazon. They have many to choose from, all beautiful. Mine is 12" in diameter which leaves a nice border on the 18" round. You have to be careful with stenciling because a sloppy stencil is just not satisfying and the liquid gold leaf is very watery and cannot be fixed, so caution is needed with that medium. I also gold leafed the round edge. After the gold leaf dried, I varnished it with 3 more coats. I am still wanting to see the glass like finish, and I think I will apply resin later.
Once the poly varnish was dry, I had my housemate drill 4 shallow holes for the screw-on-legs in the positions I wanted, and I wanted the legs close to the edge of the round to be stable once I sat on it....added wood glue, screw on legs, let dry. Done and beautiful.

 

 It is so satisfying to come out of my sauna which always feels amazing and I adore for deep cleansing and purifying, and then to sit on the bench and see the view and just relax.

 So, back to why I feel so relaxed in here? Its not just the sauna, nor the stretching nor the view of the green expanse.......cause it even happens when I'm exhausted or in too much pain as well....something calming happens. And yesterday as I was falling into the zone on the rug after another failed attempt at a stretch/yoga session, I was so curious as to why it was happening again.......I looked around and realized this shed is all metal so it is a virtual Faraday Cage! and that is why I feel so calm in here and almost always want to fall asleep in that most rare and delicious way that happens naturally from an almost opiate relaxed state, *as opposed* to the falling out or passing out from exhaustion or overly mental states. In the shed, I simply *fall into* a tranquil state, I feel my body melting, and my mind just goes quiet, *shuts off* if you will,......I'm suddenly in The Zone.
I fall into a spontaneous meditation zone when I go in there, and that is because of the Faraday Cage effect. I dont' even have to work for a meditative state, I just fall into it. Lovely!

Find a metal shed people, and zone out.

So, this project is done and satisfying.
I can't wait to do the matching Tea Table, maybe with the same mandala, maybe with another which sounds more interesting to me. I can't get it out of my head, so it needs to be done. More on that later.

Beauty Blessings
Serena

Bedroom Tea Service

Hello Everyone!
*big grins*

“What is the most wonderful thing for people like myself who follow the Way of Tea? My answer: the oneness of host and guest created through ‘meeting heart to heart’ and sharing a bowl of tea.” – Soshitsu Sen, Tea Life, Tea Mind

Sighhhhhh......its Tea Time............

“Strange how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company.” – Author Unknown

Today I want to share an inspiration that I am loving very much, it is giving me happy moments during the day. I don't see or hear too much about this but as the title says, its a Tea Service in the Bedroom.

 “If you are cold, tea will warm you;
if you are too heated, it will cool you;
if you are depressed, it will cheer you;
if you are exhausted, it will calm you.”– William Gladstone

I spend alot of time in my room, and so the room has to be lovely and accommodating, and very hospitable for me personally, and lately I wanted even more from my bedroom....... it does have to be set up and structured to allow me to flow with ease in all my tasks and needs. For me a bedroom is not just a place to crash, but a place to replenish.....the bedroom has to have alot of ambience.


 

“As the centerpiece of a cherished ritual, it’s a talisman against the chill of winter, a respite from the ho-hum routine of the day.” – Sarah Engler

So I brought in from the living room a console and placed it over the bench, added linen and my tea things and I was happy.





I've been loving having tea. Alot of tea. I used to just have a cup at a time, maybe two made in a French Press but not much more. Below is a pot of tea using just the dandelions that grew in the summer. I'd pick the blossoms once they opened with the morning sun, added hot water and honey and had lovely tea.

Lately I've been watching some Chinese drama series' and I have been blown away by so much about that culture's living! I could go on for an hour raving about their decor, their costumes, their beauty, but this is about Tea.
One of their dominating customs is "the taking of tea". It seems to be a panacea for everything, from feeling cold/hot, or lovesick, to grieving, to healing, anything it seems, the teas are brought out to calm, as a balm for the soul and body and mind. They drink primarily camellia sinensis and varieties of herbs, roots, flowers and berries. And they are usually grown in certain ways to have qualities and properties from being medicinal, healing, or for simply enjoying an un common taste.
And so with all of this tea culture, there are the tea accessories, from teapots, to tea warmers, cups and serving trays, and these also seem to be tailored to the type of tea, who is drinking, what class they are from, to simply a basic set that is for everyday use with both royals and commoners.
There are tea sets for occasions, and sets for collections. In almost every scene of a home, or room, or dwelling, even hospitals, you will see pots of tea on warmers steaming away with cups on a serving tray available for anyone who drops by. It is a greeting, A welcome, a medicine, a comfort, a handshake, a hug, deal maker, and a joy.

 “Tea tempers the spirits and harmonizes the mind, dispels lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens thought and prevents drowsiness, lightens or refreshes the body, and clears the perceptive faculties.” – Confucius

I think this is fantastic, and a lovely way of treating anyone. So why not myself? Why do I have to have only one cup, and only when I think of it? How nice is it to have the pot steaming for hours, with simple tealights for heat, (oh, "tea" lights ? hummm, I just saw that connection), and living water spiraling up in gentle streams of steam offering me two of natures elements, of fire and water making my room come to life....... and having hot tea of any flavor ready for me to pour throughout the day? Who knew I could treat myself as a guest and have good hospitality for myself.


I find that I adore having a pot, or two, of tea steaming away. When I walk into the kitchen I can pour a glass.

And if I'm in my bedroom and want a glass of tea I don't have to walk to the kitchen because I have a pot steaming in there too. Its just lovely.
 

 

All you need really is a small table, a tray, a teapot and warmer, and your drinking glass or cup.
I have taken it a bit further as sometimes I like to eat something in my room and so I have little silverwares and chocolates, flowers of course, and fairy lights.

Its such a simple thing and yet gives so much. It is better than the plain 2 or 3 liters of water I was drinking, as now I have herbal waters in the form of teas. My favorite in this moment is local grown galangal with lemongrass that I grow with a bit of honey. I love cutting the grass every morning and making a large pot, adding honey and decanting into the two tea pots I keep warm. One is in the kitchen I keep on a low setting to keep it hot and the other in my bedroom with the candles. By the time the candles go out, I have finished the pot. Its just perfect.

I'd like to encourage you also to set up something very lovely for yourself too. If you do, I'd love to see :D  I do not encourage this with coffee though, this is not about "waking up" or having the shakes, its all about the grace and beauty and calm of a multitude of panaceas from the Herbal Kingdom.

 “Drinking a daily cup of tea will surely starve the apothecary.” – Chinese Proverb

..... a few extra pictures....pictures! I love pictures!!.....

Beauty Blessings!

DIY French Market Basket On Wheels

Well Hello Bloglandia......its been a long while and I am back for a short time.

I really miss blogging here and my sentiments as always are that I wish I could do more....but...alas.


Gosh, its been a long time.......and blogging just isn't as easy as it was.
First, in April, due to nothing, no bad weather, winds or anything, my computer crashed and with it all my photos I'd been taking for years, of my home, flowers, and things I find to be beautiful. I never knew how much I'd miss my photos until they were gone. I wanted to cry. Often.

This pc was taken to a tech who said the motherboard was fried in the power surges, (yes we had a power surge protector!), and he replaced it and installed the windows 10 which I find horrid. I like systems that are easy to use, self explanatory, and reliable.

However now, when making posts on my blog, the photos I upload do not go where blogger can get to them and I can't figure it out. And these pictures below, after 2 hours of clicking away, were on a folder which I was able to get available to blogger, I cannot repeat for all the other photos I want to share on another post coming. So, I haven't been able to blog, and the techs want me to bring my pc in, so they can show how to upload photos from my camera onto a file that blogger has access to. Frustrating!

Second, my life has become a bit "complicated" and my levels of pain usually make me want to lie down more often than not.....not exactly inspiring. And sitting at the pc makes it worse.


Anyway, (deep breath! ) this is one post I've been wanting to make for a long time.

French Market Basket with Wheels!

I've always wanted a French Market Basket on wheels, but shopping for one in the U.S. is coming up with little to nothing, and those that are available are over $150.00. So I don't think so. I just knew I had to find a way to make it myself. And finally I have and I want to share.

First I had to search for a basket that was tallish.....and usually they are laundry baskets. I found this one made of wicker which I am not too fond of because it is such a rough texture, but I had to settle. This one I found in Hobby Lobby and bought only when they had their 50% off days, and this one was I think $60.00, so 50% off is $30.00, and it has a liner and lid. I spray painted it ivory inside and out.

Then for wheels. I initially planned on attaching wood to the inside and outside of the bottom, attaching them together, then buying individual wheels to screw on the bottom, and then figure out how to get a handle made.....but that wasn't a graceful process either.

Then I searched and searched for a simple elegant trolley/handcart/handtruck with wheels I could simply attach the basket to, but simple ones are not easy to find either. I found most heavy duty ones even if I searched for lightweight etc, and then they were in primary colors or were so tough looking....oh no, no no people!.....
I left that alone for a while.

Then one day.....(dont' we love that intro?) my housemate John comes home and tells me that Whole Foods is now selling these basket "totes" he says they're called, on wheels.....and he looked at it and saw the liner is easily removed and it could work for my basket and I said, yes, yes, yes Please and thank you! They're only $20.00, and sure enough, he brought one home and it was just about perfect.

I removed the liner held by just a narrow strip of velcro on the back, whose pictures are hiding somewhere on my pc......then I attached my basket with cable ties I got from the dollar tree.
Cost of all (basket at 50% off and wheel "tote") is around $50.00. Done!

Now I have a basket on wheels to take to the farmers market where often I buy plants I can put in there and walk around easily. sigh. After years......it finally came to fruition. I hope you like :D.

 This is the Whole Foods shopping "tote" as it is being sold now.....(August 2019)

 Here I'm showing two cable ties, and one on the floor of the basket just to keep that in place on the bottom. I only used three, that's it.

I put the liner back in that came with this basket and voila......a beauty in the making. I am having all kinds of ideas of adding prettyness to this, but that inspiration will have to wait until my frustration about not being able to get picture on my blog fixed. I'm thinking maybe tassels, which I am very into these days and making some just for fun.....some French touches?? I don't know. Any ideas?
It seem it needs some frills, but this is all the fun part.

But I now. have. a. French. Market. Basket !


I just really wanted to share with you in case anyone else out there has always wanted one, how to make a French Market Basket Trolley, simply and affordably, totally stress free. That shopping tote from Whole Foods, really helped alot!

 Happy Shopping!

A picture of one delightful view from my living room window.






Beauty Blessings.

Not Receiving Comments On My Blogs

Sorry people, and sorry to myself for not being able to hear from those precious ones who took the time to write to me here.....but there was a glitch I could not understand with the commenting on google/blooger I'm calling them now.....but I do hope it is fixed. I had to subscribe to my own blogs to receive comments even though I had comments enabled for anyone. Oddly the only ones getting through are proliferous spammers. What a crock.

But I do hope this is fixed now and I'd love hearing from you, if you would take the time to try to write here or for my friends respond by email??

Updates, Shed, And Other Things

Hello Everyone, friends, strangers, readers, curious ones.....
*extra long post in 3 parts, pace yourselves.

I have to post something today as its been a while.
Reasons for not blogging regularly......my life is not a rhythmic thing, predictable, mundane, nor on a schedule. In fact, my life is a rare "oddity", where time has little meaning as do dates (ever since I revoked being run by a clock or calendar, it in fact has revolted against me and played many a trick where I literally lose hours in a minute....vindictive thing time is!), and strange things happen on a regular basis, where magic is real and mediocrity is a virus to be avoided at all costs, and where healing from intense, long term high strangeness and chronic physical agony (more on that later) is an every moment to moment thing, including its long term effects upon the spirit and psyche, hence dropping out of mainstream. So I do not blog regularly. K? :-)

But today I need to clear out the photos, file them and organize everything, and because I have been asked, I am posting about the shed etc.

We have an 11' x 20' shed, nice right? Except when it is used as a dumping place, like "lets put this here for now".....that "for now" thing is a multifaceted evil. It never works unless you are slightly OCD, which I am to my great joy. But my housemate John, is the master of procrastinator and king of glib. There is no compromising, there is only me getting things done, as only an organized person would.
So......finding myself still feeling sick, as in flulike etc, from heavy metal poisoning still in my system despite having mercury fillings removed because I did not embark on following up by removing what metals were sitting in my system which have to be removed specifically with certain chelations that will carry them out of the body otherwise they sit in the body unmoving making you sick the entire time. So.....my beloved far infrared sauna which was laying in parts in the shed, and looked so forlorn I never thought I'd see it alive again......was greatly needed, as it does remove metals from the body through the sauna actions. I told john I really need it at this time, and he went and began to put it together at some point, and actually got the electrical parts to work again and so my beloved sauna was back together and working, gifting me that special sanctuary I've always loved being in, with whale and dolphin music being played through the speakers, giving me slight respite from chronic anxiety. I have loved my times in that sauna over the years.
He got it to work, and I can begin detoxing again! Joy!....so I went to look and inside the shed was the wonderful pure wooden structure which cleanses and purifies, surrounded by filth and chaos and ugliness.....welllll.......that wasn't going to work. I hadn't had ideas for the shed anyway, but this prompted creativity and ideas which I embarked upon right away. The lovely thing is my ideas developed as I took in all those things lying around in the shed, extra wood parts from redoing the living room floors, including one whole 4x8 panel, and other pieces, and thinking now....with some other things, I could use all of this and the shed is done. And that is what I did.
I will just put up the pictures and speak of it there....

At this point I had already removed half of the stuff that was in here to begin clearing it all out.......but you can see the sauna is up and ready.....but I needed to make the shed clean, efficient and pretty. I didn't go all out as I don't have the finances for that so it took the minimum in organizing to make it much nicer.....

Everything was removed and I began cleaning the walls....years of built up dirt, I removed with orange oil cleaner, very powerful and wonderful smelling and the floors used as a paint tester for maybe 40 years, was swept, vacuumed, mopped, painted and sealed with paint that was left in the shed, a beige.
John bought for my birthday a 5x7' rug for under the sauna, and a box of 50 stems fresh eucalyptus I wanted so the shed will smell good and it will tolerate being dried in there and when it reaches 120 degrees as it does all summer long, the heat will release the scent from it too. Nothing else alive would survive in here. We got a $40 metal shelving unit from Home Depot. I'm using a small refrigerator I had to keep my favorite drink for the sauna which is a large mason filled with cold coconut water, aloe vera juice and rose water on ice.....oh how wonderful is that!
The large 4x8 that was on floor, was cut and made into a table on the right which is my space and johns is the left with all his tools. Shelves were made from leftover woods. Then I got from Home Depot drop cloth canvas and made curtains for my side, then john liked them so he wanted them too. Underneath both sides we have stored extra paint, and Christmas things etc organized in bins.






I bought a $17.00 walmart stool to sit when I work at my table, doing what I don't know yet.
The chandelier, he got for our kitchen, but the ceiling wouldn't hold this fixture, only a long fluorescent ugly thing, and he didn't want to take it back after putting on all the crystals, so I said, well, we could use it in the shed, and he hooked it up. I wouldn't normally put a chandy in this shed  unless it had walls and was all She-Shed-like, but it was better than returning it when I needed a light in there anyway.
Lets see what else....

 While in Home Depot, one thing john kept putting off was getting (for one day!) more peg board and accessories, but I made him get the stuff on the spot, so he could also have a nice organized space too, whats he waiting for, we're doing the shed for crying out loud!  So he got a peg board sheet for $10.00 and 2 kits of accessories, and it fit perfectly to fill in the blank space (see 2nd above pic) and to put up more tools.

We like these treats he found called Piroulines in chocolate hazelnut, OMG, I love them.....and the tins are too nice to discard, so I painted them white and added chalk labels and now he has those for odds and ends. I saw a galvanized rolling cart in Hobby Lobby I said was perfect for all his power tools, which would free up his table to actually have a space to work, that could be rolled around as they were awkward laying around everywhere before and no neat way to lay them but having their own rolling cart works. He refused the rolling cart. Then when he put up the peg board and organized his tools, he didn't know where to put his power tools, and I had to explain again.....he finally got it and it works neatly.
I like galvanized steel in the shed. I had many pieces I bought for my move to TN but it was wasted there as was everything else I bought for there, but here we use them all. I even got a little chalkboard to write notes.

I really like the lighter floor and painted table with the canvas curtains and galvanized touches. On the table I have a wood box that needs to be put back together, it is the cover for the cd player for my sauna.
I found a delightful store in Micanopy called Dakota Mercantile, which has all the things I love. One store finally in Florida that I can get to that has good taste. She loves French style, true linens, quality bedding like Bella Notte !, classic french decor, everything for a gracious lovely home. I bought two botanical prints and just tacked them up on the bland wall. I have no idea what to do with this space but if we need to do some work, it is here.
When I get more eucalyptus, I will hang them from the rafters. It will smell so nice!

 I had some lace and made curtains for the little windows, cause why not?

A thrift store find years ago of a huge crochet canopy I never used got thrown over the sauna, again, why not?
I have place mats made of vetiver on the door to cover the glass for privacy, and when I washed them and put them in the sun to dry! OMG the smell of the vetiver came through and they scent the sauna which is also why I chose them for the inside. Anything that will smell good in the heat is a yes.

A sweet space on the top shelf of the metal rack holding the eucalyptus and Quan Yin, some smudging sage and amethyst crystals.

On the other shelves, I have a first aid kit, and some other necessities in baskets, like extra towels for the sauna, that I may need in there at some point. One must make oneself comfortable...this is how spaces serve us. Fridge is elevated up on leftover wood and cement blocks so I don't have to bend whenever I use the fridge, so nice!.....cement blocks covered with fabric of course. One basket holds extra towels for the sauna, and the other various things, paper towels, a balsam fir and eucalyptus room spray I made from pure essential oils, and extra glasses, both for reading and distance. oy.
There is a first aid kit because john is very accident prone, and a galvanized vase holding sand for incense sticks.

 This urn is a water fountain with light, which I need to get working and find a place in the house for it, but until then it makes an ugly corner pretty. And a beautiful crystal tea light holder cause one must have at least one gorgeous thing in any space.
I also added sheer curtains along the back wall but they are too sheer to make a difference, but at least the fabric softens the space. Fabrics are amazing.

 So here is before,

and now. I still am working on making some other crafty things like pinecone wreaths and such to make this shed pretty. I am working on several things at once but at least I'm in the crafty stage, where being creative and acting on ideas and inspirations are all I want to do now....and now I have the space and the time. 

 

Ok, thats the shed part....I'm going to take a little break to have some home-made bread with garlic-herbed goat cheese and be back.......see you in a few......



Part 2:

My cat......

well, she's not really mine, and this is a first for me, that some creature is not mine in the love sense. She is quite a difficult one for me.....shes' independent, rebellious, strong, willful, wants to be outside all the time and doesn't like to be held. I wanted a cat for all its opposites, someone who likes and wants to be held, who likes being indoor and a little outdoors, who is cooperative, and likes to share time and love and affection. This one, Sarah, has gotten into everything and broken some things, and I never had this before. Now because she wants to be out all the time, she thumps loudly around the house in a frantic caged tiger way, and harasses me with outcries, and basically yelling at me until I get up and follow her lead to the door and open it for her. I didn't like her being out without some control because there is way too much space for her to get lost in and if she doesn't want to come back, then she is not my cat is she? She's just a cat who comes and goes as she pleases, not for me. Plus there are two male cats who come around our doors and leave their stench marks, and I certainly don't want more cats and babies around at all.
I want the cat I had before who was more than cat, was a lover of people and wanted relationship with us.
So, one night, she bolts out after 5pm curfew and didn't come back in. John tried to lure her in but she wouldn't budge.  Eventually past midnight I heard the doors sliding open and closed. I got up and john already had her in his room, he said he found her freaked out on the top rail with one of the male cats at the base of the stairs.
Lots of drama going on here with her, since day 2...... how much difficulty she's given how much stress no one knows. My nervous system has jumped into some kind of survival mechanism where anything that threatens me or my peace feels like its threatening my life again, and I want to instinctively and automatically destroy. You won't know what that is until you've been so threatened so often with your very life that you are now in pure survival mode. That is what I'm still working through. So when I hear something break and fall, or this cat running at blinding speed over furniture with crazed looks in her eyes for half an hour to an hour, this is very uncomfortable and when I try to hold her to calm her she fights to get down, never wants to be held at all, ever.
I want a loving housecat. This one is not it. She has to go.

I have told john over and over again we need to spay her but he does what he does best, procrastinate or simply no response.....and so, when he found her at the door freaked out with that male cat there, I only wonder if it already got to Sarah and so we have to have to spay her asap. John is having to deal with this now, as its too late for my nerves, I am in love with her and giving her away will set me back. I've already shed tears over this and I am not a cryer. So once spayed, I am hoping it will calm her as it tends to do to some cats, and we'll see, but she still will have to go.
I want a cat that likes to be held....and wants to love a human. So this is terribly sad for me, as I do not meter out emotions, I am full on, uncensored and I like it that way. Again, its one sided.

Another little break, be right back.....you can also break this up into reading another time, but whilst I am here typing, I am going to finish this through.


Part 3:

Other news? I cannot get to a third part without encountering high strangeness, not in my world anyway. And this one is it. I'd like others thoughts if they are based on some experience with this. Opinions from non experiencers I've had aplenty, but I'd like to hear from experiencers.

Speaking of the agony/pain I live with.....

I've had fybromyalgia since the so called professionals did not believe in it. Now they do. But I had used a machine called a molecular enhancer which alleviated 80% of the pains, so that was wonderful after suffering for 20 years. However, I get pains with emfs and solar activity, and earth activity etc, and with all the wifi going on it has gotten worse again.
Now I have been a jogger and body builder since I was 17 and I ate all organic and got very healthy and a well functioning toned body for a long time. But life and its tolls will exact its price, and with certain circumstances in life I could not deal with emotionally snowballed, I found I could not heal normally again. The outer toxins including heavy metal poisonings were making things worse, I could not get on top of things and I suffered with all kinds of pains, so my healthy regimens increased but it became full time work and I had no more energy for this. I found comfort in foods for numbing as opposed to eating for health.
Then one day I went for a jog and found a strange hip joint thing going on which felt so weird I could not place what it could be. I've had my share of accidents, etc, but this was not in my sphere of experience at all! It quickly turned into pain and then loss of movement. The only way I could describe this is it felt like my legs were removed and put back wrong. The pains increased on top of everything else and I couldn't work out anymore, could hardly move at all. The body always responds to proper treatment with alleviation, but nothing was causing relief. It would only disappear on its own for unknown reasons.
I treated this for arthritis but it didn't help. I treated it for injury it didn't help. I treated it for bursitis but it didn't help. I looked into what I was eating, drinking, thinking, everything, but it was none of that. It was completely an unknown source.
Oddly there were times, maybe once a week where I'd wake up at odd times of the middle of the night and be totally and completely pain free and free of weakness, and felt like my old strong self, I could move normally, bend and walk, like a switch went suddenly "OFF", but slowly the pains would return.
I couldn't figure this out as it was maddeningly odd and made no sense. I could only pray and hope. Then some high strangeness happened and I moved out of Pembroke Pines to TN, and things got worse. I nearly died.
I got out of there 11 months later in May of 2018 I moved here with all of that ailment, which was horridly painful and difficult in every way, being isolated with no friends, only john to help when he got out of work. I did it anyway. I often want to be in the dark, with candlelight only. I started close the blinds and curtains in this beautifully bright sunny house, to crash around 3pm, then 2pm, then 1pm, and sometimes by 11am I was back in bed for the day and night. I gave up. I needed a miracle.

Feb. 1st I woke up pain free and thought it was one of those days where it just disappears and returns. So had hours of respite and could move and do things around the house and cook without being in agony. Nice. This lasted the whole day! Then the next day, and the next. WT? And today it is 17 days in a consistent row I am totally free of those hip joint pains. How does this happen?? I knew it wasn't something I had as I had treated myself for everything possible with no results at all.  Now it is completely gone for 17 days now, and I am flummoxed but so grateful!!! I knew it wasn't me, but I don't have a clue what caused this and what caused it to go away. It is like a switch went off and has stayed off. WTF?

And that is my story for now people. Any clues would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.